Cognitive Dissonance

Today, I had an intuitive thought to call George and find out what he said to Mr. Guru. George merely “talked to his sponsor, mentioning that he and I had spoken the matter, and he was curious about whether they had the right, regarding the 3rd Tradition, to banish Lance” and from that Mr. Guru came up with “I personally attacked him”.

Oh My God! How is it that this idiot has this much power? He is an a psychopath. I looked up his birthday astrology once and it says that people born on that day have natural personal magnetism. I don’t feel it – but the rest of them must.

I told George that I am now banned from the place – and he has to fix it. Then George and I talked – I could tell that he really is interested in The Traditions because Mr. Guru is 80 years old and we have to think about what will happen when he is gone.

YES!!!!! George!!! I told him that when my guru sponsor died, and I dropped his name because obviously personalities impress George – that our group disintegrated into dust. He was impressed by my sponsor – I gained a little cred there – sucks but that’s AA. It’s all about who you know.

Anyway – I invited George to come to Idaho at the end of the month. I told George about our little process that we use to go through the Traditions – and I told him briefly that it just requires patience and perseverance but that God enters the group and tells you what to do –

He told me about Meanguy over at the other club where those guys go – the club ended up banning Meanguy for being mean – if you can believe that – and then Meanguy’s wife came to the board and begged for them to let him come back – and Meanguy is back, being mean.

I told him that was the easy way out – and it did not change things at all. Had they used the Traditions, the group would have unified and something good probably would have happened with Meanguy and he might now be nice – but – as it was they used human power and it failed.

I planted a seed. I offered to take him through AA Comes of Age but told him Mr. Guru would flip if he found out – George is no where near being ready for the Traditions. It’s in God’s hands. I told George – I will always be here waiting for the opportunity to help you with the Traditions George –

I talked to my sponsor afterward – My sponsor is 86. He said – Mr. Guru just does not care about the future of the group – all he cares about is himself – Yup. How is there justice here, God? Oh well – only God knows this.

I still have to talk to my BFF about this – he still thinks I WAS WRONG – how fucking ridiculous – yes – there’s no free speech at that group – I am not allowed to speak or finish a conversation that George started.

I should also add that what I said to George was that what’s more important than whether it was ok to banish Lance is that 2 people made a decision alone and the group is about 40 people big right now – 2 people decided for 40 and it was really 1 person – Mr. Guru. George just watched.

I was asked to speak on a tradition in my life next Tuesday up north – that’s nice. I stayed home from AA today. I just cannot face it right now. Yukky biker chick meeting.

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