Acceptance…

p. 417, 4th edition / p. 449, 3rd edition:
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed,
It is because I find some person, place, thing, situation –some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation As being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms,
I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”

I just came from a meeting where this was read as the topic. First of all, this is from a story written by Dr. Paul O. That means that this is Dr. Paul O’s experience, strength, and hope. He is just another drunk like me, and I don’t have to agree with him or make him an authority. Tradition 2 says that there is but one ultimate authority – God.

But here I am at this meeting and this is the topic. They are going around the room sharing on this topic as if it is the Gospel because it’s in the Big Book, and all I can hear is self-will. Me personally, and this is what I shared, I do not have the power to accept anything. I have God. I pray. That’s what I do. I did not “accept” my alcoholism. I came to AA because I wanted to stop drinking because I could not stop on my own and I was willing to do whatever they said. Where is “acceptance” in that scenario? I was desperate. Then, when I finally got into the steps with a sponsor, I fully conceded to my innermost self that I was alcoholic after we read the book together up to that point in More About Alcoholism, and we looked carefully at my abundant experiences of drinking more than I planned on once I started drinking and doing things I did not want to do, and then drinking when I did not want to or plan to, over and over and the spiritual malady on p. 52 – I was having trouble with personal relationships, I could not control my emotional nature, I was a prey to misery and depression, I could not make a living, I had a feeling of uselessness, I was full of fear, I was unhappy, I could not seem to be of real help to other people…at that point I was able to concede – grudgingly admit – that yes, I am alcoholic. Is that acceptance? I don’t think so. Dictionary defines Acceptance as the act of taking or receiving something offered. I’ll go with fully conceding – it’s more accurate.

I was at dinner with my boyfriend before the meeting and there were at least 10 things that happened at the restaurant that I found unacceptable – and I prayed to God. I never accepted any of them – but I prayed – and God took care of every single one of those 10 things for me, so that I did not have to try to accept them. He and I would break up quickly if I had to accept things that are unacceptable to me. Breathing in and out is often unacceptable. I pray. God takes care of my perception or He takes care of the situation, and I can go on living.

In addition, I don’t use the Key’s To The Kingdom for direction on how to deal with a resentment. Again, this is in the story section. The directions for how to deal with resentments are found on p. 64-66.