Disclaimer: I write this blog for myself – so take what you like and leave the rest. But sometimes I wonder – do I have anything else to say? Am I saying the same thing over and over? OFW.
Today, I sat alone for an hour at the Principles and Applications Meeting I started, reading the last pages of Dr. Tiebot’s address to the first General Service Conference. This was what I read,
P. 249-251 – Harry Tiebot – this perfectly matched what I had just been talking with my sponsor about on my drive to the meeting.
The points that I feel are relevant here in this reading are – #1. Open-mindedness is neither believing you have all the answers or being a blind follower. You actually have to use your BRAIN and think about things, PRAY about things, CONSIDER, CONTEMPLATE, MEDITATE. EXERCISE THE NOGGIN in order to have a truly OPEN mind. I used to do that IN AA, but now that the fellowship is DEAD – I have to find other ways.
I am teaching myself guitar; I am teaching myself Monoprinting; I am studying Taoism; I am teaching myself to make Tensor Rings; I am doing Qi-Gong; I take colloidal gold for my brain/for alcoholism; I am doing a huge art project based on Rudolf Steiner’s Solstice through January 1 that will last all of 2025. I am writing nightly review ...and a bunch of other things I can’t think of right now….This is what I am doing now – by myself – since AA died, Hopefully my mind will be open as a result of all this stuff I am doing to grow spiritually…
Also, Tiebot is saying that surrender is a disciplined act – it’s not just the pink cloud you get after you give up – it’s the daily grind of the mundanity of respectability. Well – I am undisciplined by nature – more than most people – so I change it up, but I am trying to do these things daily. One day at a time. And of course, I go to meetings – every other day or so – and I work with whomever asks me to sponsor them as long as they are not on meds.
My sponsor, Chad, 56 years sober, former Trustee – Traditions Maniac – was telling me, today, about how the “Board” refused to let the minority opinion be heard – so that’s the end of AA right there – His region had written to the Board requesting that they discuss rescinding the use of the Code of Conduct, and return to using the Traditions. This region had proposed that the Board is violating the By-Laws by using the Code of Conduct, which was never approved by the Delegates and which violates the By-Laws – so now – the Board is going to amend the By-Laws to follow what they are currently doing and they are forming a Committee of Compliance to the Code of Conduct and they are going to get the Delegates to approve it at this next General Service Conference, April 2025. And they probably will.
Here I would ask myself HOW??? HOW ARE A GROUP OF PEOPLE, UNKNOWN TO EACH OTHER, YET ALREADY DESTINED TO WORK TOGETHER TO DO THE WRONG THING???
I would say it’s SMARTPHONES, which have made everyone dumb. It is an act of Will to do the right thing and most people don’t have access to God’s Power to do the right thing today – because they have been dumbed down so much by smart phones, distraction, emf’s, the food, the air, the water, the jab – the zombie apocalypse is upon us.
Most people today say they hate reading. Have you noticed? I hate reading but that means to me that I must read – and I must write. I must read daily and I must write daily and I must do it in hand-writing and in books that I hold in my hand as well as online.
. I am not going to comply. I am not going to be taken over by sloth but most people are content with what is going on out there – and they are distracted and oblivious to it because they did not experience strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness.
So why do I bother writing this blog? I do it so I can stay sober. It’s part of my sobriety to adhere to the Traditions and the Principles of AA and so that’s why I need to write down what is going on. Chad told me that he found out about this 2 weeks ago and has been depressed since then.
Shit, I sat alone in the Principles and Applications Meeting – and I am committed to sit there for at least a year, every week – to see if there is interest – unlikely in this climate of egoism and materialism, but I am not doing this for myself or for AA – I am doing it TO SERVE GOD.
Then I talked to my other sponsor – Dean – he is 45+ years sober and a past Delegate. He told me that the Big Book For Dummies came out – and it uses the word “addiction”. in place of alcoholism. Seventy-two thousand copies have been sold AND they printed it with the mistakes that the Delegates asked them to change – and then they sent out a letter of apology (all marketing) and now they are going to reprint the “new” one with the “mistakes” changed – so let’s see – $11 each – that’s $7.50 profit – times 72,000 equals $540,000 times 2 equals $1 million eighty thousand – that should cover their rent for a few months, huh?
Does this sound like ego to you?
Like my sponsor said today – what Bill said in AACOA,:
the people of today have not experienced complete defeat because they were interrupted by the courts, and treatment, and they come in to AA and are destroying it for their own self-aggrandizement and EGO – Edging God Out.
Dean said his group is going to state in their preamble that they only use the 4th Edition of the Big Book at their meeting. Yup. I would like to say I only use the 1st Edition from Anonymous Press – that’s what people can use if they work with me. But nobody much wants to work with me anyway…
The new gal I am working with – 28 years – told me last week she doesn’t think she will ever drink again…huh. Wow… but you know, I ran into her at the gas station buying a lottery ticket. Thanks God – and when I gently confronted her about it she said that she doesn’t see any reason to stop gambling – she wants to stop over eating. Sigh. OK. What am I dealing with here??? The dregs. How has she stayed sober all these years??? Does she remember the fellowship???
Anonymous Alcoholics 