We …

Disclaimer: This is my blog and I will write whatever I like here – read it or don’t, like it or don’t. I do this for my own sanity as I observe AA die.

There is no We.

There is only a bunch of “I”s now. “We are a fellowship of … people” ?? Whatever. We are a fellowship of trembling terrified souls and disembodied spirits huddling together to make ourselves feel better – buying into to distorted cliche’s that make disaster seem more palatable.

How did this happen? It happened in society. It was caused by an agenda which has been evolving for millennia that each individual person will have to look into. It may have all really taken hold in the early 1800s when the Prussian Education System was introduced in schools, and it slowly, incrementally removed critical thinking skills from the mainstream, till we got to where we are now – chaos. If you wanted a place to start reading about it you could read Underground History of American Education by John Taylor Gatto followed by Tragedy And Hope by Carroll Quigley

I personally do not know how to change it. I have used every which way in AA to change it, but I now have to accept it as something I cannot change. I do prefer to know what I am dealing with though, so that I can make the changes I need to make for myself – so that I can know what to pray for and I can know what is God’s Voice and what is another agenda for me.

This has changed AA from the inside out. This is what has made it so that people cannot think anymore- adding in the factors of poisoned food, air, water, pharmaceutical drugs, and synthetic street drugs and of course trauma – and the continued evolution of bad schooling leading everyone to be tapping away on keyboards and staring at backlit screens… where we are today where if someone asks for help, everyone is “too busy” to help them – unless they are a newcomer and it would make the “asked” look good to help the “askee”. So there may be a temporary seeming of help coming from some people – but later you may discover they were actually just helping themselves.

Therefore, the Traditions cannot be used. The Traditions depend upon a group of living souls who have the mental capacity to consider the needs of others and their own needs – vs their wants – that are united under a common purpose. Read AA Comes of Age, Bernard Smith’s talk. People in AA today cannot comprehend how to think or how to use the traditions. I bore witness to this when the Plain English Big Book was introduced to the group I attend…

I am going to digress for a moment and talk about some sorta outside issues – but they are actually not outside issues anymore because they have been dragged in to AA by the fellowship, unwittingly – mainly that most of the members of AA today are probably unrecovered Adult Children of Alcoholics who have trauma in their histories – and this has resulted in a lot of learning disabilities which makes it impossible for them to truly recover. I know this for myself – because I have created a persona for myself of a recovered alcoholic, however I am still not recovered from the ACoA stuff and I would never have known this unless I had blurted out something I didn’t want to blurt out a few months back, which revealed this fact.

The trauma that I experienced plus the trauma that has being imposed upon society by so many psy-ops – starting with say … 9/11… has really done a number on us. We are the “walking wounded” and AAs are the worst. ACoA AAs are the worst worst. ACoA’s are addicted to negative information – and there is plenty of that on mainstream social media these days.

I would never have known that I had to go to ACoA – I thought I accomplished the recovery in other ways. Wow was I wrong. I am actually now reading literature with my sponsees on the phone once a week. Here, I will enclose a document I made, for you all here – just a taste. This would be good for anyone to help you in writing inventory on ACoA issues. However, recently I wrote down 75 names of people with whom my inner child, inner teen, inner critical parent and my inner Eddie Krueger resent. Not sure what to do with this yet. Why? Even the third column doesn’t really make sense – because “I” am not resentful toward these people. I 10th stepped these things that happened and I turned it over to God. My “I” is this recovered alcoholic persona that I have created for myself and all the wild hairs of my ACoA are united in that “I”. Or they are not. What I have discovered is that I have a lot of wild hairs that are not united into the pillar of the “I” – and that is what I am presently working on… but most AA members are not even aware of this – and so they are just their collection of wild hairs and so they are not even a “we” within themselves. Because of this – because they have solved their alcohol problem somehow – they think they have recovered – but when it comes to attempting to comprehend the Traditions – forget it.

The result is that partially the “I’s” have devolved into the “haves” and the “have nots”.

the “I’s” exclude the have nots.  the “I’s” are not following our literature.

Yesterday I was at a closed meeting so the “I’s” all introduce ourselves to qualify ourselves as alcoholics and yet, the treatment center was there and they brought 2 addicts and 3 alc-addicts who then introduce themselves as “addicts” and “alcoholic addicts” and the chairman does nothing.

This reveals a lack of Unity in the group conscience – the lack of “We” – the “I’s” – in the old days, we would have stopped the meeting and a couple of members of the Organism (Group) (see footnote) * would have taken the addicts outside and talked to them – about if they are alcoholic, and they would have been properly 12-stepped.

Instead, this lone chairman – not part of We – a lonely “I” – just rereads that the meeting is closed. No one blinks an eye.

I (my wild hair inner fuck you teen & my inner Eddie Krueger) wants to bring a full bottle of Jack Daniels in and take the cap off and put it on the table.) What is the fucking difference?
It’s a lie. It’s not a fucking closed meeting-
we don’t have the unity to back up our mission statement.

My car is in the shop for 3 weeks so I reach out to many folks for a ride –
one person sends me the url of a YouTube of our old dead sponsor…
the rest don’t respond or tell me they are too busy to help me.

We. A collection of traumatized “I’s”.

God has given me another solution which I must practice to overcome alcoholism. It works and I can do it.

I can see that society is destroyed to such an extent that the old things will no longer work and I just have to wait for WE to show up. Probably when things are much worse.

The other night, I was yelling at God in the car about the drug addicts at the meeting – someone from the group had shared their disdain for the drug addicts and said she is going to have to go to other meetings – fuck! On the radio comes Twisted Sister – “We’re not gonna take it!” – with help from my ACoA friend I realized the message from the song is “WE’re not gonna take it!” but the collective “I’s” that “we” are – with all our unrecovered wild hairs – just goin along to get along – “the I’s” are gonna take it.

I do not have a house where I can have a home meeting and the ones who do don’t want to do a home meeting. I am just going to watch AA die.

A non-alc ACoa friend tells me she watches an internet channel where she sees people with masks and guns deporting people off the street and no one does anything to stop them.

But what could you do to stop them? Even if it’s a staged psy op, the fact that people are not unifying against this – shows that people are slaves mentally already. Watch this film… free on YouTube.

The job is done.

I am waiting for the WE’s to show up and working with God on how to keep my sanity through this time.

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Footnote

• An organism is a discrete living thing with a natural life cycle, whereas an organization is a human-made, structured group of people or entities working towards a common goal. While a natural organism grows and evolves organically, an organization is a constructed entity that can be planned, mapped, and managed, though the “organization as an organism” metaphor suggests that successful organizations can exhibit characteristics of living systems, adapting and evolving. 

Organism

• Definition: A living, individual entity, from microscopic organisms to complex animals. 

Characteristics:

• Naturally alive and evolving.
• Characterized by growth, adaptation, and a life cycle.
• Functionally complex with interdependent parts (cells, tissues, organs) that work together for the organism’s survival and well-being. 

Examples: A single human being, a goldfish, or a colony of ants (often called a superorganism). 

Organization

• Definition: A deliberately structured group or institution formed to achieve specific objectives. 

Characteristics:

• A creation of human effort, not a naturally occurring phenomenon.
• Has a visible structure, hierarchy, and leadership.
• Can be mapped, planned, and managed, similar to a business or administrative system.
• Relies on human vision, beliefs, and imagination for its existence and persistence. 

Examples: A company, a church institution, a non-profit, or a government body. 

Key Differences

• Origin: Organisms are natural; organizations are human constructs. 

Nature: Organisms are living and inherently unpredictable; organizations are typically designed, though they can be complex and adaptive. Purpose: An organism’s purpose is inherent to its existence and survival; an organization’s purpose is defined by its creators and members.